If you could have figured out a better way to deal with the stress, trauma, anxiety, depression, helplessness, hopelessness, and other emotional issues that life throws at us, you would have.
You would have started relying on them habitually, leaning on them when life was rough. But nobody told you how.
And, no-one asks for these life events. No-one can really be held responsible for events that happen TO them.
Nevertheless, we ARE all responsible for the consequences of these events in our lives – whether we asked for them or not.
And, we’re not just talking to those who suffer from addiction personally.
Denial can affect family members and loved ones just as much – especially where communication or relationships have been strained in the past.
“I’m So Ashamed”
Faced with the prospect of owning up to the problem, some fear shame in doing so, or even retribution.
Honestly, those around you have picked up on your problem a long time ago. This is no surprise to them.
What could possibly be shameful about standing up, owning the problem, accepting responsibility, and seeking positive help to turn life around?
Is it possible that others would actually respect you more, recognise your honesty, and value your determination to get better?
The only way past any problem in life, is THROUGH it. That’s the truth.
You Are Not Broken
Here’s what actually matters:
– You are not a failure
– You are not weak
– You are not irresponsible
– You are not broken
– You have let no-one down
You’ve unconsciously fallen into a pattern. A pattern of using something to feel ok about yourself, and about life.
It happened incrementally, little by little, so subtly that’s it’s extremely easy not to notice.
Your substance of choice has been your friend; reassured you, been there, seemingly helping you past the rough stuff of life.
But it’s a friend that takes and takes.
If you had a friend who whispered words of reassurance, while taking and taking and taking from you, spending all your money, destroying your career and relationships…how long would you keep them around?
We all fall into these patterns all the time. We compensate for inner weakness or emotional discomfort in different ways, and with different substances – food, TV, exercise, shopping, cigarettes, etc.
The same core emotional issues are there – only the method of excess has changed.
Whether it’s alcohol or drugs, your substance of choice has lied to you, and will keep lying to you.
Do It For You
Don’t do recovery to win back a relationship. Don’t choose to recover from addiction to win the respect of your parents, work colleagues, or children.
Don’t do it to please or fit in with anyone but YOU.
Because the you that’s in recovery, the sober you, the responsible you, the courageous (& happier!) you, will automatically bring these things to you.
Millions are successfully recovering from addiction right now. Every day, with the help of the right supports, they walk the talk, and reclaim their lives.