When we understand that addiction is not the enemy, not an obstacle to be overcome, not something to be forced through or pushed beyond consciously… then real progress is possible.
When we realise that addiction is our coping mechanism of choice, a way to deal with the meanings we have ascribed to events of the past – a means to feel ok, that we discovered a few times, then came to rely on… then progress is possible.
So a better title might be:
How To *Understand* Addiction
Earlier in life, we’ve decided unconsciously that certain events of the past mean something specific about us.
Then, to feel better again, to feel worthy, lovable, etc, we consume our substance of choice.
But, actually realising that those initial events DO NOT mean anything about us, is the best coping mechanism of all.
Here’s how to do that…
Finding The Core Events
Remember your personal addiction statement from a few emails back?
e.g. For me, the way to feel ______ is to use alcohol/drugs
Now, we’re going to find some significant events behind that.
e.g. for the example:
“The way to feel accepted is to consume alcohol”
…is it clear to you, that if I *don’t* feel *not accepted*, then I would have no real need for the substance/coping mechanism in the first place?
Step 1 – Isolate The Belief
Establish the driving beliefs behind your addiction – HERE. e.g. “I’m not important”
Step 2 – How Do I Know That’s True?
Continuing our example, What emotional event has taught me I’m not important?
e.g. Mum and Dad ignored me when I _______.
This could be a one-off significant trauma; but more often, it’s a repeating event, that happened over and over.
Step 3 – What Else Could It Mean?
If five other people saw a video of this event played back on a TV screen, what might they conclude the event means?
How might that be different to your conclusion “I’m not important”?
What else could this event possibly mean? e.g. (event detail) could mean (alt explanation 1,2,3)
I mean, I know you saw what happened in the event, and you heard the sounds in the event.
But did you literally see the meaning “I’m not important” **IN the event**?…Or did you just see the event itself?
So, if there are multiple other possible meanings this event could have, each one just as valid as your meaning “I’m not important”, is it clear to you that what you thought was THE meaning of the event, is in fact not THE meaning, but *one* *possible* meaning, out of many possible meanings of this event?
Are you still as certain as you were before that you’re not important?
If you were previously 10/10 certain beforehand that you weren’t important, how sure are you now, out of 10?
Now…can you see that overcoming alcoholism has nothing to do with “beating” it, but instead….understanding it? Then progress is possible…
We understand the fingerprint of addiction and can help you now. Are you ready to free yourself from addiction….at the root? Get started with free addiction therapeutic advice now: